“What’s taking so long?”
“Why didn’t she reply yet?”
She’s online but not replying. What the heck?
In the early phases of dating, or when you are just getting to know each other, it can be really frustrating, when we see her online, but she won’t even be taking the effort to reply. It can feel disrespectful sometimes, right? Although, more often, it’s not the case.
So let’s see what should we do, and what should we AVOID at all cost, when she is online but doesn’t reply.
Table of Contents
- Why is it so frustrating when she’s online but not replying?
- I) Because we care too much
- II) Because of our insecurities
- III) Because we draw conclusions from our own standards
- DON’Ts: What you should NEVER do when she is online but doesn’t reply?
- 1) Never text her immediately, or in a few hours
- 2) Also, never text her under 24 hours
- 3) Never make sure that the conversation is still alive
- 4) Never show her that you got offended
- DOs: What you SHOULD do when she is online but doesn’t reply?
- 5) Wait at least 2–3 days before you send her another text
- 6) After waiting patiently – Send her a funny post
- 7) Send her something you were just talking about earlier
- 8) Send her a new song
- P.S.: A bit of the cold truth
Why is it so frustrating when she’s online but not replying?
I) Because we care too much
We want her to reply, so we can be sure that everything is still alright.
We want her to like us, because we like her as well. Maybe too much.
Would we really get frustrated IF we didn’t care that much?
Think about that.
II) Because of our insecurities
We need that reassurance.
- That she still likes us.
- That we are still important for her.
- And also, that we still have a chance.
It’s really a lack of confidence, and from those insecurities, we can truly chase a lot of women out of our lives.
III) Because we draw conclusions from our own standards
What does that mean? That means, that in an opposite situation, we would act in a certain way, so we are kind of expecting the same behavior.
In other words, if most of the time we reply in a short period of time, that’s exactly what we expect in return.
You can see this happening in our everyday life as well:
- If we usually do precise work, we kind of expect precise work from others.
- If we usually clean up after ourselves, we kind of expect others to clean up after themselves as well.
- Also, if we are usually kind to others, we kind of expect that kind behavior as well.
You see, we are all a bit self-centered, and often times we don’t think from out of the box. From the other perspective. From another angle.
And if we are doing something in a certain way, we might think that most people are doing it the same way. It’s obvious to us, so it should be obvious to them as well, right?
And that’s why it’s frustrating, when she is online but doesn’t reply. Because, in the opposite situation, we would have replied already.
DON’Ts: What you should NEVER do when she is online but doesn’t reply?
1) Never text her immediately, or in a few hours
Do this, and you can make sure that she will back off in a few days.
- Her messages will be shorter.
- Her replies will take longer.
- Likewise, her interest level will drop.
Simply because you didn’t have enough patience to wait for her reply.
Writing in just a few hours, before we even got a reply, simply tells her that you are desperate for her reply, and that you don’t have that many things going on in your life.
They get a lot of messages from a lot of dudes, so it’s not something new for them.
It’s an INSTANT turn-off.
So avoid this at all cost.
2) Also, never text her under 24 hours
Don’t be impatient. Wait until she gets back to you.
- Maybe she has a lot of things on her mind.
- Maybe she is having a long day.
- Or maybe she is out with her friends enjoying her time, and doesn’t like to be on her phone during that time.
Who knows the real reason, but it actually doesn’t matter.
You only have to know ONE thing: If her interest level is high, she will get back to you.
So be patient, and don’t be like most guys, who panic if they don’t get a quick reply.
If she didn’t reply yet, wait at least 24 hours (better wait 2-3 days), before you send the next message.
3) Never make sure that the conversation is still alive
“Are you there?”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Did you receive my message?”
Never ever send that to her, if you didn’t get a reply from her yet.
Again, the subconscious communication is, that you are desperate, afraid that you’ll lose her, and that you are impatient.
Not having a life full of exciting things. Being bored.
It’s immature, and that’s NOT what you want to communicate to her.
So, stay away from these type of messages, because they are huge turn-offs.
4) Never show her that you got offended
This is another huge one.
- Being butt-hurt.
- Showing her that she offended you with not writing back.
- Showing her know that we really wanted her to text back.
- And showing her that we didn’t forget about it.
So let’s not wait for her to ask “What’s wrong?”, followed by a “Nothing. Why?”, and expect her to make it up for us, because that’s just delusional.
Instead, let’s NOT get offended by her not replying yet.
How do we do that?
- By having a lot of great plans in our head, that we can’t wait to do.
- By having a lot of great friends, with whom we can’t wait to hang out.
- And by having big, long-term goals.
These can really solve a lot of things.
DOs: What you SHOULD do when she is online but doesn’t reply?
5) Wait at least 2–3 days before you send her another text
Ideally, I wouldn’t recommend to double text her at all, because if she didn’t come back to you in 2–3 days, then her interest level might be really low.
I know how it is to have a lot of things on our minds, but 2–3 days should be enough to text back someone.
But who knows what could have happened in her life, so we can try again to text her, after 2–3 days.
Here are some ideas, what you could send to her.
6) After waiting patiently – Send her a funny post
A great way to reinitiate the conversation, is by simply forgetting about the last one, and sending her something funny.
- It can be a funny post on Facebook
- A funny short video on TikTok
- A funny meme from 9GAG
You get the idea. Anything that would make her laugh is good.
Warning: If she didn’t reply for the second time (wait those 2–3 days, of course), then don’t bother texting her anymore. It’s a clear sign that she isn’t interested. If you were a priority, she would have found the time to reply. It is that simple.
7) Send her something you were just talking about earlier
If you run into something you just discussed in the days, you can text her about that.
It can be a picture you took.
A random post on the internet.
The idea is, to reinitiate the conversation with a shared experience you have in common.
8) Send her a new song
If it’s something she will like, it’s even better.
The point is to send her something low-key.
Without expecting a lot of attention to that second text.
Just to ping her, in case she forgot to text you back.
P.S.: A bit of the cold truth
Here are some scenarios that might have happened to you:
- She is active on Instagram but not replying.
- She has seen my message but didn’t reply.
- She is online on WhatsApp but not replying.
- She hasn’t read my message but has been online.
- She is active on messenger but not replying.
Whatever you want to call it, they are more or less all the same. Unfortunately, most probably she didn’t forget about you, she just didn’t put you in the beginning of her priority list.
- Maybe another dude came into the picture.
- Possibly her ex reinitiated contact.
- Or perhaps she just realized she is not that into you after all.
Who knows why she isn’t replying?
You can give it another try, ping her once, see if she is still on, and if not, then simply move on.
It’s a bit of cold truth, I know. But there are literally millions of other opportunities out there, so don’t get so much hung up on just one person.
Right now, you are at step 9/10, in the 10-step system on how to find your ideal partner.
Continue the system with the next small bite, here.
If you don’t know about this system yet, BUT you truly want to find your ideal partner, then see the full 10-step system here.
Thank you for reading through. If you liked this post, please consider subscribing to my newsletter down below, for more dating and relationship advice.
Until next time.
Thomas Kallos – Find Your Ideal Partner
Give Them Time To Reply To Your Text
If your initial message to them wasn't an urgent one, it's important to give them some time to reply. There are plenty of reasons they might not get back to you right away — they could be busy at work, not in the mental space to chat, or dealing with bad cell service.
You only have to know ONE thing: If her interest level is high, she will get back to you. So be patient, and don't be like most guys, who panic if they don't get a quick reply. If she didn't reply yet, wait at least 24 hours (better wait 2-3 days), before you send the next message.Can a girl be interested and not text back? ›
Could Someone Who Is Interested Not Text Back? It's possible for an interested individual not to text you back right away. Plenty of things take people away from their phones for hours or even days at a time, and the person you are texting is no exception.What is dry texting? ›
Close Settings. As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.Does not replying mean no? ›
No response isn't always a rejection. Sometimes, people have a perfectly genuine reason for not responding. Before you start to worry too much, bear in mind that they may simply be busy or at work and unable to respond just yet, even if they've managed to sneak a peek at your message.How do you tell if she's testing you? ›
She may suddenly cancel plans, make you impatient, dig into your past, or constantly text you. Though it can be tough to understand her behavior, these could be signs she is testing you. It is important not to feel enraged or offended as a woman may test only the man she likes and wants in her life.Is it rude not to reply online dating? ›
Is It Rude Not to Reply Online Dating? Not replying to an online dating message is seen as the norm typically, but it is more courteous to be upfront with someone you aren't interested in assuming they have messaged you in an appropriate way.When should you stop texting a girl? ›
When Should You Stop Texting A Girl? If she asks you to stop texting her, definitely stop. Don't text her again if she explicitly asks you to stop. Additionally, if you reach out several times and she never replies, it's safe to say that you shouldn't keep texting her, particularly if this is a girl you just met.How do you deal with no reply? ›
- Remember. Remind yourself that no response is a response (in most cases). ...
- Try to reach out again. One simple way to restart every conversation is to try reaching out again. ...
- Bring up a different topic. ...
- Ask for a convenient time. ...
- Know when to take a bow.
06/6“I'm sorry and I respect your space”
A 'sorry' can soften the blow and additionally if you pop up a text about respecting their decision of not talking, then it'll give them a good impression of you respecting their boundaries. And that is ALWAYS an effective way!
- Is She Really Ignoring You? ...
- Keep The Conversation Fresh And New. ...
- Avoid Passive-Aggressiveness. ...
- Give Physical Space. ...
- Keep It Positive. ...
- Texting Isn't The End. ...
- Use Texting To Find Out More About Your Love Interest. ...
- Description Is Powerful.
Cold texting is reaching out via SMS to a contact without their prior consent or permission. It's similar to cold calling and cold emailing. Some examples that would lead to cold texting include: Purchasing a contact list from a third party. Finding customers' phone information online.Is dry texting a red flag? ›
A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.How do you know if someone doesn't want to talk to you over text? ›
- 1 They don't text you as much.
- 2 They take hours to reply.
- 3 Their replies are short and vague.
- 4 They don't ask any questions.
- 5 They're always too busy.
- 6 They don't use pet names anymore.
- 7 They don't compliment you.
- 8 They cancel plans repeatedly.
: a refusal or failure to respond : lack of response. a nonresponse to a complaint.Is no response disrespectful? ›
When you've been patiently waiting for an answer, not getting any response is rude and disrespectful. Not only that, but there simply isn't a good excuse for it.What does it mean if a girl is not replying? ›
Women can stop replying for all kinds of reasons. She's incredibly busy, she's having a bad day and isn't feeling sexy, or she's just no longer interested in you. If you did nothing wrong, it's almost always best to give her space.Will a girl test you by not responding? ›
She will test you by not texting back immediately or keeping from initiating a conversation. This is a sign that she wants to see your interest in talking to her. She wants to see if you are trying to reach out to her. Sometimes, she may play hard to get to see if you will stick around.How do you tell if she's not into it? ›
- She Just Doesn't Pay Attention. ...
- She Pulls Away from Subtle Touches. ...
- She Won't Make Any Effort to Touch You. ...
- She Doesn't Care about the Topics You're Discussing. ...
- She Doesn't Ask You Any Personal Questions. ...
- She Doesn't Make an Effort. ...
- She Doesn't Maintain Eye Contact.
- They Ghost You... Then Text You to Come Over. ...
- Everything Is “Haha” This and “LOL” That. ...
- They “Miss” Your Messages. ...
- They Constantly Respond with Memes. ...
- They Always Text You Right When You're About to Move On. ...
- They're Not Really Into the Conversation.
- They ask you for money. ...
- They warn you about themselves. ...
- They say "I love you" within days. ...
- They won't send you pictures. ...
- They give vague answers on their profile. ...
- They talk about their ex. ...
- They go heavy on the sweet-talk.
Online Dating Red Flags
It is important to get to know the person, not the profile. If the person you matched with sends you sexually-explicit pictures without your consent, this is a clear red flag. Another red flag is if they ask you to send sexually-explicit pictures right away.
Online but not replying? Some guys, out of pride, arrogance or an excess of self-confidence, might not want to reply quickly to a message they've received for fear of seeming too “needy” or “desperate” in the eyes of the sender of the message. They might prefer to come across as aloof or distant.How do you know when to give up on a girl? ›
- When she obviously avoids you.
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you.
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends.
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps.
- She asks you to stop.
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong.
- Your friends tell you to move on.
The best way to make her miss you is to give her the time of her life. Take her to amazing dates, cook her delicious meals or even make her go crazy with your amazing sex skills. Sing to her or take her somewhere special that she didn't expect at all.Should I stop texting her to make her miss me? ›
If you really want someone to miss you after going on a date, the key thing is not to send text after text or make call after call. Instead, avoid too much contact, and don't hound them all the time and ask them a million questions.What is the psychology behind not responding? ›
Not responding to your texts can also be a power move. Maybe you'd ignored their texts earlier, and now they're getting back at you. Now they're trying to put you down to restore the power balance. It's common for high-status and powerful people not to respond to those 'beneath' them.How do you make her crave for you? ›
- Work on your physical health. The first rule in the game of attraction is to look and feel good. ...
- Make yourself presentable. ...
- Exude self-confidence. ...
- Ensure personal hygiene. ...
- Invest in a good cologne. ...
- Improve your verbal skills. ...
- Be within her sight. ...
- Discover similarities.
- Give her a compliment.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Follow up on something she told you about.
- Tell her a cool story.
- Ask her deep questions about herself.
- Create an inside joke with her.
- Start a fun debate.
- Text pics of what you're up to.
- 1 Walk away and give them some space.
- 2 Distract yourself with new challenges.
- 3 Spend time around supportive people.
- 4 Focus on your own happiness.
- 5 Acknowledge your feelings.
- 6 Ask yourself if they're really ignoring you.
- 7 Figure out the cause of their behavior.
Yes. If she has ignored you then she has shown what she thinks of you. Don't let her play games with you by enabling her to have things her way when it is convenient for her.Why do people ignore texts? ›
While you may know, rationally, that there are plenty of good reasons for someone not to respond to a text or an email—they're busy, they haven't seen the message yet, they're thinking about what they want to say—it doesn't always feel that way in a society where everyone seems to be on their smartphone all the time.How do you tell if a girl is playing with your emotions? ›
- She only texts you when she wants something. She is the sweetest little thing on earth only when she wants something from you. ...
- She always cancels plans. ...
- She doesn't invest in the relationship. ...
- She manipulates you.
Playing hard to get is an effective strategy for some dating and relationship situations. If a partner is already interested and likes you, posing a challenge can turn up their desire. If they are uncertain and not a little invested, however, it might be best to be more direct and engaging.Can a girl love you and still ignore you? ›
When a girl ignores you but likes you, the reason could be your shyness. If she notices that you hardly communicate your feelings and emotions, it can get frustrating. She may also think you are no more interested in her if you don't speak or act freely around her.Why would a girl suddenly ignore you? ›
A woman may ignore you for a variety of reasons – maybe she is not interested in you, or she does not like how desperate or inconsistent you are. She may also be ignoring you unintentionally due to technical difficulties or a tight work schedule. Being ignored by a woman does not mean that she hates you.Why is he not replying but is active? ›
Most of the time, when a guy doesn't respond to a text immediately, he's just busy. Either he is busy with work, or maybe he's visiting family. He could also be running some household errands. Give him some time, and he'll get back to you.What to do if your online friend is ignoring you? ›
- Don't automatically make it personal. Yes, it affects you, but when friends distance themselves, it may have nothing to do with you. ...
- Don't get defensive. ...
- Give space. ...
- Find alternatives to talking it out. ...
- Let some things go. ...
- Reconsider your friendship.
It may just be that your crush isn't comfortable texting - some people prefer to talk over the phone or in person. If you've made no effort to speak to your crush other than sending texts, it may be time to work up the courage to have a conversation with them in person.How do you know if someone doesn't want to talk to you online? ›
Look for a “read” indication on sites like Facebook, Instagram, or Whatsapp. If there is a long lapse between your text and the response, or if the person doesn't respond at all, she likely doesn't want to talk to you. You can never be completely sure what is going on, though.
When a girl doesn't text you back, it's because she either forgot about you or doesn't want to talk to you. It's true that women do get busy, but we also live in a world where humans check their phones 96 times per day on average. So she saw your message, no doubt. Not responding to it was a choice.How do you follow up after no response to a text? ›
Following up after no response to an initial text
When you're following up on a text message for which there was no response, reinstate the subject of the previous message, so the receiver immediately knows what the text was about. End the text message with a question that remained unanswered after the previous text.
An effective way of breaking a bad habit such as waiting for a text message is to become disinterested. There's one thing you must do to achieve it: be curious. Once you feel the overwhelming desire to look at your phone, stop for a second and observe every sensation and emotion you are feeling at the moment.How do you tell if someone is avoiding you? ›
- Zero communication. Has your friend or loved one stopped communicating with you? ...
- Always canceling plans. ...
- Failing to make eye contact. ...
- Physically distancing. ...
- Socially distancing. ...
- Insufficient responses.
- Excuses and lies. ...
- Give yourself a little space.
- Are you okay? ...
- I'm here for you. ...
- I'm sad that we're not talking right now. ...
- Do you want to talk about things? ...
- You won't believe what just happened! ...
- I'm really sorry. ...
- I'll give you space.
Women can stop replying for all kinds of reasons. She's incredibly busy, she's having a bad day and isn't feeling sexy, or she's just no longer interested in you. If you did nothing wrong, it's almost always best to give her space.How long does an online crush last? ›
According to psychologists, crushes often last a few months, with a minor percentage developing into a relationship. This statistic may stem from the fact that many crushes are founded in infatuation instead of an attachment.